Knowing or suspecting that your child is being bullied can be very upsetting, but there’s lots you can do to help tackle the problem. Although you hope it never happens to your son or daughter, there is a chance it might so it helps to be prepared to recognise the signs so you can help. The good news is that most schools are very pro-active when it comes to preventing and dealing with this problem.
Bullying can take many shapes and forms and sadly technology and social media have also made it easier for those who want to cause trouble for others.
Cyber bullying – usually carried out online, via smartphones and tablets – is becoming increasingly common and can cause the same emotional and physiological stress as the conventional kind. However, one of the biggest challenges posed is that it can be harder to detect because it only takes place via phones and other electronic devices. The charity Family Lives recommends parents make note of everything that happened, including who was involved, when it occurred and who witnessed it, before approaching the school. Cyber bullying, unfortunately, can be harder to spot, and with mobile technology being so freely available it can seem never-ending as the taunting can continue at any time of the day or night. It can also be made worse if taunts are made via social networking sites and messaging apps because anything posted can often be seen by lots of people and easily shared.
Make an appointment with the class teacher or head of year – they will want to see you if you have concerns. All state schools are required to have an anti-bullying policy by law. Work together with the school and make it clear you are seeking their help in finding a solution.
Avoid accusing the school – remember that teachers are usually the last to find out that bullying is happening.
As difficult as it may be, try to be patient – allow the school time to deal with the problem but stay in touch with them and arrange a follow-up meeting to see how the situation is being resolved. If things don’t improve, keep a bullying diary and write down every incident as soon as possible after it happens making sure to tell the school each time.
Look for changes in your child’s behaviour – they may be less talkative and appear secretive. They may suddenly be unwilling to go out with friends or stop doing an activity they have always enjoyed.
Once they have confirmed your suspicions – keep a log of what’s happened, get screen grabs of texts or messages on social media and then go to the school for help.
What to do if your child has bullied someone:
No parent wants to find out that their child is bullying another pupil and it’s likely that you will feel angry, disappointed or any number of other strong emotions. The NSPCC recommends that you should explain that what they’re doing is unacceptable. Children and young people don’t always realise what they’re doing is bullying, or understand how much their actions have hurt someone.
Childline has lots of great advice specially designed for children and young people. The NSPCC says that it’s important to help them realise how what they’ve done will have affected the other person. You could ask them how they think the other child is feeling, and to remember how they’ve felt when someone has said or done something unkind to them. Explain what you’re going to do next, such as telling their school, and what you expect your child to do now. Ask them whether they have any questions about why their actions need to change.
